Full On Rant Like You've Never Experienced Before

Ok so last night I was ranting to myself. For a really long time. I'm gonna repeat as much of my rant as I can to you.

I don't get gay people. I mean, I don't really have a problem with them being gay or lesbian or whatever, it's just.... why? I mean what is wrong with NOT going against nature and just liking the opposite sex? I don't even know, it makes no sense to me.

And I don't understand rapists. What is the point of raping someone? Like, WHY would you go through the trouble of forcing yourself on someone. Really, now? That is SUCH a loser thing to do. Go find yourself a girlfriend and go fulfill your S&M fantasies you loser.

Now the thing that REALLY scares me are bisexual rapists. WTF!? NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THEM! Like, what if there was this dude who was straight and he got arrested for raping a girl. And then he went to jail and while he was in jail he became gay or bi? Then when he got out of jail, all the girls would steer clear of him but guys wouldn't because they think they're safe. Then all of a sudden BAM! There is this GUY trying to rape you (if you're a guy). OMG! Like what if I just decide to go on a walk with a friend who's a girl. And I don't think anything of it because she's a girl you know. But then she turn out to be lesbian and wants to rape me!? I probably wouldn't even know what was going on! I can just imagine that whole scene right now. We'd just be walking along and then I'd be getting raped by this girl and I'd be like "Wait what? What's going on?" And she'd be like "Ohhh nothing..." And I'd be like "OMG! Are you trying to rape me!? Is that why you're holding a dildo!?" And she'd be like "Ummm....no." And then I'd get raped and then I'd be like "Wait, I don't get what just happened." OMG I COMPLETELY CAN SEE THAT HAPPENING!

And you know what, forget about homos. They can do whatever, they're cool. Just not in front of me you know. I don't have a probelm with it; I just don't understand it and I'm not that comfortable with homo-PDA. Whatever. And forget about rapists too, they scare me. What I REALLY DON'T GET AT ALL are straight guys. Now I'm a girl so I guess I don't really know anything, but why do guys like girls? Girls are SO annoying! They are SO confusing, they NEVER make any sense, they're ALWAYS complaining about stuff, and they are just SOO BORING! OMG! I can't stand it when I'm hanging out with my girlfriends and they're being so GIRLY! Like, can you shut up for a second so we can talk about cool stuff? Like robots? Or lima beans? Or robots that like eating lima beans? No, I don't want to talk about Edward Cullen and his boring stalkerness.

Which brings me to another point: Edward Cullen is a freaking WEIRDO! He is a 108-year old virgin vampire that is going out with a 17 year old girl. And he stalks her. He comes into her room at night while she's sleeping and watches her sleep. And he keeps tabs on her by reading all her friends' thoughts so he knows what she is doing. And he is such a freaking OVER-PROTECTIVE, FEMALE-DOMINATING MALE! And sometimes he acts like a boyfriend, and sometimes he acts like her freaking DAD! And he's such a PUSSY! He never even fights omg. He's a freaking vampire with all these coolio vampire powers but in the ENTIRE Twilight series, he never ONCE gets into a real fight. WTF!? And he's always so moody. I hate guys that are moody. Stop being moody. And whenever there's a problem, he runs away from it instead of confronting it. So stupid.

And Bella Swan is an idiot too. She is such a typical GIRL! She's always complaining about stuff ugh. Except she's even worse than a typical girl because she doesn't even get excited about anything. Like it's her birthday and she gets MAD when people give her presents. What a party pooper. And she's such a wimp and she's so dependant on Edward. I hate wimpy heroines, you know that? It makes girls look like the weaker sex, but we're NOT! Well technically, we are but oh you know what I mean. Shut up.

And the Twilight series just sucks. I thought it was great at first, but as the books went on, they just kept getting more and more repetitive and STUPID. Like everything was just soo annoying. And it was so boring. Here's a series that has vampires and werewolves, but there are no awesome fighting action scenes. And everyone was soo moody. No one ever made any jokes, except for Jacob. That is why Jacob is awesome because he's a funny, light-hearted guy that still cares. Thus, werewolves are awesomer than vampires. Vampires suck. And I especially got pissed off at the ending of the last book. Almost ALL of Breaking Dawn was about the Cullens getting vampires from all over the world gathered in one place so there could be this amazing vampire fight against another group of vampires. I was soo excited! I was like, this is gonna be AMAZING! Guess what? There was no fight at the end. That was lame. So basically, the series just pissed me off. It was ok just to read it once though. It was good light reading material as long as I didn't think about what I was reading.

Ok ANYWAY. Back to what I was talking about before I started going off on Twilight. Yea, girls are annoying. Personally, if I was a guy, I would be gay just so I wouldn't have to deal with girls and their annoyingness. Yes, I'm a hypocrite, I know. But I'm not saying that guys are so amazing either! They never make up their minds and they're always being SO annoying! I hate it when guys try to pretend they're cool because then they pretend to be indifferent and act like they're so G like they don't care about anything. AGH that pisses me off so much. And they are either super straightforward or they just don't even answer the question right. Or they'll just....say things that piss me off a lot. I don't even know.

So basically, I don't understand how guys can like girls. And I don't understand why we girls like guys. Because girls are stupid and annoying and we suck. And guys are stupid and annoying and they suck. The entire human race is faulted and everyone pisses me off. I hate school.

I really hate school. So much.

Peace, dawg.